How I Became a Target of Online Anti-Woman Harassment for Months

I have no regrets

It was about 3 a.m., and I could not sleep. I was a college student who had become so accustomed to late-night cramming that sleep was evasive. So, I decided to hop onto Youtube and watch some mindless entertainment. This was the height of the Youtube prank video era, where every silly and scripted prank was going viral. Through the work of the algorithm, I ended up stumbling off of the classic “Couple Prank” videos and stumbled upon the little niche of “Gold Digger Prank” videos.

The gold digger pranks were simple. A man would ask a girl out under the pretense of being rich, and then they would see if she would still go on a date with him when he revealed his humble finances. A classic approach was to lean against an expensive car and ask a girl out, and then once she accepted, walk over to an old car and see if she would still get in. The case was simple, if she backed out of the date, then she was a gold digger.

The pranks themselves were of minor entertainment value but what was appalling was the comment section. It appeared that every single one had been invaded by Red Pill philosophers and vicious misogynists. Hundreds if not thousands of comments were non-stop claims that all women are gold diggers, all women are terrible, and men must learn how to manipulate them. One of the Youtubers was so appalled by his own community that he wrote a lengthy post explaining that the vast majority of women he performed the prank on were not gold diggers and simply never made it into the video montage as a result. But even he could not stem the tide of hate that was flowing in every comment of these videos.

Had I not been sleep deprived and exhausted from testing, the rational part of my brain would have informed me that attempting to wade into this mess would be a fruitless endeavor. I would have, as I have many times before, closed my laptop and forgotten about the toxic corners of the internet that occasionally spilled over into the mainstream.

But I was not rational. And at that moment, nothing felt more right than to write lengthy comments on each video explaining the flaws in these pranks and also the flaw in the belief that every woman is a gold-digger. I aimed to be objective but also compassionate. This did prove to be exhausting, and satisfied with myself and my work, I fell into a deep and lengthy sleep.

The next morning (afternoon), I awoke in a great mood. It was the weekend, I had no more to study for, and it was a beautiful day! I grabbed my phone and was alarmed to see that I had over 100 notifications. This was unheard of. When I realized they were from Youtube, the night before came crashing back, and I had to suppress an audible groan. Hundreds of comments from triggered men were coming in faster than my poor phone could load. To say that they were upset would be an understatement.

The comments tended to fall into a similar pattern. Some of them did not actually form any coherent thought or argument and instead were a string of insults: “You whore, slut, skank, gold-digging bitch.” they might say. Others formed long arguments trying to prove that I was, in fact, a gold digger and was only upset because I had been called out for my wily ways. Others were committed to proving that all women are gold-diggers, and the few who aren’t were not exceptions to prove the rule.

The worst ones were threatening. I received threats of rape and death from a few unhinged people. Those were the only ones I reported and had removed.

Among the crowd, one comment stood out to me. It was from a young person who expressed that he didn’t want to believe that all women were gold-diggers, but due to his own experiences and reading what everyone was saying, maybe they were. I didn’t want to see what sounded like a young and rather vulnerable young person be dragged into the festering pit of Red Pill Philosophy, so I reached out to him compassionately. I told him that it’s possible to find a healthy and supportive relationship, that all women are not out to be bad to men, and I told him about the Youtuber who had explained that most women did not fall for the “gold digger” pranks. In response, we were swarmed by a hoard of eager misogynists who were trying to convince him not to listen to me. One of them was especially vile and had a highly upvoted comment instructing men to “treat women like the whores they are.”

The young man asked me to show evidence of the Youtuber I mentioned, and so I went, found the post, and hit reply. My phone showed that the comment had been sent, and I left feeling satisfied that I may have helped at least one person in this cesspool of hate.

About two days later, the young man replied to me. He said that I had failed to show him proof, I was obviously lying to him as all other women lie, and that I was proof that all women are awful. I was appalled. I explained that my phone showed that the comment had been posted, but sure enough, I could not see it anywhere on the Desktop. I apologized and told him that I would go and find the comment for him and link it again, and I did.

It was too late. He and his new gang of goons started calling me a liar and a slut and embracing his newfound acceptance into Red Pill. I begged him to read the comment, and he refused to do it. It was like watching someone become radicalized before my eyes. There was nothing I could do, however, so I simply left while they taunted me.

In case it needs saying, in real life, I am certainly not a gold-digger. I have no intention of dating men for money. In fact, my boyfriend and I started dating while still in school, and neither of us had jobs.

But one thing this situation taught me is that nothing is more triggering to online misogynists than female gold-diggers. I suppose they see it as women getting one over on men. A successful, self-made man can lose a lot in the desire to find the companionship of a woman.

In the end, the constant online harassment lasted about two months in total. I received daily notifications and replies from angry, upset misogynists slut shaming me, hurling slurs at me, and on some occasions threatening me with physical harm. The first few days were so intense I had to turn off my phone at times because it would be buzzing nonstop with new notifications.

It was an enlightening experience, to say the least, and an example of the truly vicious misogyny some online groups are capable of rallying. Of course, it was due to my own lack of common sense during a sleep-deprived haze. This wouldn’t be my only fruitless online endeavor to combat hate, nor even my only rodeo triggering online misogynists. But it was definitely the longest hate campaign I’ve ever been a part of and one of my least successful to boot.

Overall, I found the entire debacle rather hilarious. But it did occur to me that someone without my thick skin may have found an experience like that scary and upsetting. If my comments resonate with even one person on the verge of radicalization, then I’ve done my job. I still sometimes think about the vulnerable young man in the comments section I failed to help and whether he managed to pull himself out of the haze.